I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
