why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
She announced her abortion via fbk
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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