It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
