You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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