I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
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