we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
ugly people sure do ruin things
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Randomize
