youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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