Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
