So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Randomize
