At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
