I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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