Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I came so hard my ears popped.
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