Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
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