Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
ttyl tear gas
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Randomize
