I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
