apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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