She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I want to fling myself into the sun
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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