you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize