the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Randomize
