I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Randomize
