Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
