Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
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