Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
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