arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
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