In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
