I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Randomize
