So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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