Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
