Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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