i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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