why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize
