Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
