We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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