hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
