dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Randomize
