im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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