my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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