Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
