Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
