remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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