Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
