i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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