this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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