i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Randomize
