I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Well I just put wine in my tea
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
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