3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
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