i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Randomize
