why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
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