Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
