Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize