Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Randomize
