Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
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