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yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
