Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I am never drinking with the goths again.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Randomize
