Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
