Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Randomize
