I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
he had hair everywhere except his balls
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Randomize
