weddingsv make me drug and hornr
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
