i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
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